Chris Jones and I would be great friends. I've come to this conclusion after hearing him speak for only an hour. The foundation of our fictional friendship is a shared appreciation of fries smothered in cheese and gravy, better known as Canada's greatest gift to the world, besides hockey. My favorite quote is not at all related to magazines, but food. "Poutine is like a warm bed inside of your body," Jones said. I nearly stood and clapped for this gem. I mean, he's not wrong. Poutine tastes like a hug, or a warm bed, feels.
Oh, goodness I'm drooling all over my laptop. The key to my heart is clearly cheese curds and gravy. Hey, Chris, let's be best friends and gorge ourselves on poutine.
You'll find sense of humor below poutine on my list of reasons to be best friends with Chris Jones. After making several jokes, Chris added that he makes jokes because he's uncomfortable and to hide his pain. This is also a joke, but I can relate. I'm awkward. Having serious conversations makes me uncomfortable, so I use humor to deflect the tension. Actually, most situations cause me to feel awkward and uncomfortable, leading to me never closing my mouth. Strings of meaningless words spew out, often some poor jokes, when I revert to humor. If I don't know how to respond, my instinct is to make a joke, hoping it'll change the subject. It's probably unhealthy, but they do say laughter is the best medicine.
Somewhere in the middle, Chris Jones planted the seeds for my anxiety attack. I sat in my car afterwards, taking note of everything running through my mind. It occurred to me I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Sure, I've chosen a focused major and already have an idea of a future career, but the little confidence I had in that plan disappeared. Way to go, Mr. Jones. It's actually not entirely his fault. Chris Jones made some good points about what it takes to be a journalist. I'm the one over thinking it. Less than half of what he said caused me to freak out.
Lack of self confidence is by far my biggest issue. Jones stated that if you don't care or have the drive to succeed, switch careers. I know on some level I care and feel motivated, but is it enough? I have doubts about my abilities. I don't think I'll be competitive when looking for a job. I'm probably not good enough. Motivation is not my strong suit. I care, but to what extent? All these negative thoughts spin around and around in my head. Feeling drained of all energy and optimism, I rested my head on my steering wheel. Maybe I should switch majors. Again. There's no way I'm going back to science and nothing else seems to interest me. Journalism is the only way I'll have a chance at my dream job, analyzing hockey for Sportscenter or working for any NHL team. For now I plan on sticking with my current plan and maybe the motivation I lack will find me one day as I chase down my dream.
I hope my other skills will carry me through to the end. Chris pointed out that as a journalist, you must look around and have questions. How else can you report if you don't ask questions? Luckily for me, I'm constantly wondering about the world and the things in it. I've briefly researched multiple athletes and sports teams on several occasions, curious about their history. On top of that, I try to be the best listener. Not enough people stop to listen to what others have to say. Often people just need to get things off their chest and hearing them out is the best moral support. I know how frustrating it is to be interrupted or ignored when all I need is to share what I'm thinking. The least I can do is lend an ear when others won't. Listening helps build relationships and improve my own listening skills. Both will be useful in the long run. In a noisy world, the few quiet ones listening will prevail, which is why I take Chris' words on listening to heart. I may not be the most competitive in my skill set, but I can ensure I listen better than anybody else.
I enjoy magazines very much, but I don't have any subscriptions. I have yet to find a magazine that provides a happy medium between fashion and beauty, and sports or other "unladylike" topics. As an almost 20-year-old, fashion and beauty magazines want me as a reader, or at least I think I'm part of their target age range, but that's not my style, pun intended. I couldn't be further from the typical fashion magazine reader, as my daily struggle is choosing a t-shirt, not coordinating a nice outfit. There could be titles I don't know about that cover a broad range of topics to fulfill my magazine needs.
Magazine genres force readers in to gender roles. As a female, I feel like I'm overstepping some sort of line by reading Sports Illustrated, though I usually only read the issues with hockey articles. General sports magazines have a masculine feel as well. I'm not saying they should girl it up, but it's possible to soften the design, make the overall magazine more neutral. Sport specific magazines appear welcoming to me. Maybe these titles have a lesser range of readers to please, so no person is left desiring more, or maybe it's easier to please everybody because you can do so much when the focus is one sport, not several.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have magazines for women, clearly the work of Satan. And what topics could these girly magazines focus on? Fashion and beauty. Duh. I mean, women are clearly the only people in this world who know how to dress well and give the impression of absolute beauty, right? I guess I was born without this knowledge. I know the basics of putting together an outfit and how to use makeup. Did I miss a class for that other stuff? No, I didn't miss anything. Magazines just pigeonhole their readers. You either learn it and perfect it, or you live knowing you failed as a girl. Thanks, media!!!!
It's actually starting to offend me how fashion magazines insist women be well-dressed and seemingly perfect all the time. God forbid I violate any fashion rules. I know when I look ridiculous, but I don't need a (probably) materialistic, self-described fashionista telling me what to wear. Show me realistic outfits, makeup tutorials, or other easy how-to's. Oh, if the products used could be affordable, that'd be swell. I'm not spending copious amounts of cash to look like Emma Watson or Jennifer Lawrence, especially when it is in fact impossible to recreate their incomparable good looks.
You can't recreate this flawlessness. Both Watson and Lawrence have a team of stylists. Hair, makeup, and clothes are done by professionals, probably taking several hours. On top of the professional beauty team, the magazines definitely retouch and edit the photos. We know both women are tremendously beautiful, so why bother retouching? Such beauty is unattainable as it is, yet apparently it's okay to raise the bar even higher. I can hear all dreams of being this beautiful shatter in to tiny, tiny pieces of sadness.
Am I bitter? Probably. In my defense, this kind of bologna starts crushing dreams at an early age. Not only do teen magazines destroy confidence and self-esteem, but also foster short attention spans and create unrealistic conceptions of beauty that continue to adulthood. Celebrities on the cover of teen magazines are posed to appear nonthreatening, and give the sense that celebs are "just like you and me!". "OMG so-and-so is totally a normal person like me and not getting paid oodles of cash for coming off that way. Like, we're so similar, but I also want to be more like him/her. Clearly he/she is definitely the nicest, greatest person ever." Blah blah blah. I'm not saying celebrities aren't super sweet and nice like they appear to be, I'm just saying jerks exist. Yeah, I am bitter, but let's examine the covers of these magazines. It's fairly evident my observations are realistic.
Teen People come on down! You're the next contestant on "What's wrong with magazines?"! Here are my initial thoughts upon viewing this horrendous cover:
Oh! Ashton Kutcher!
Wait, what is this garbage?
Ashton is clearly the cover story, but I can't stop staring at Chad & Sophia. WHAT ARE THEIR LOVE SECRETS?!
Why are there floating heads above handsome Ashton?
So many things are happening at once, I don't know where to look now.
Is it necessary to have a colorful background in addition to every sub-heading being a different bright color?
Why is drama bigger than teens changing the world? Are the readers shallow?
Oh, a quiz. "Are you stuck up?" Yeah, that sounds like it's based on science.
Fashion and beauty bargains? Now we're talking.
I can't help but think the audience for Teen People is made of young girls, maybe 12-15, and these girls care more about meaningless drama that has zero effect on their future and less about teens changing the world. Then again, all the color and crowded feel of the cover indicate a short attention span. With so much going on, it's difficult to focus on one aspect of the cover without being distracted by something else. I'm trying to stare at the lovely Ashton Kutcher, but my eyes keep going down to Chad and Sophia, and up to the floating heads. That totally ruins the moment. How can I appreciate how his hand is pushing his hair back, in a nonthreatening way of course, if I keep getting sidetracked?
Popstar! might be the biggest culprit of colorful, crowded covers. I feel as though I don't need to say anything about this one because it almost speaks for itself and correlates with my previously mentioned ideas. Color can make sub-headings pop, but the bright background kind of defeats this purpose. It's definitely not necessary to have several photos clogging the cover and confusing the readers. I don't think there is a focal point here. So, I have two questions for the cover designer(s): where am I supposed to look? and why would you repeatedly create such an atrocity? (It just occurred to me that maybe this is a strategy for Popstar! to stand out. Sad, but plausible.)
There's too much going on and I believe this sort of thing is to blame for readers having short attention spans and getting distracted easily. The best way to describe teen magazine readers is to equate them to Dug, the dog from Up!
From a young age, girls are pressured to be the ideal woman who consistently looks flawless. Magazines don't help. Your option is to go full beauty queen or full tomboy in regards to which magazine you select. I'd never stopped to think about this issue before, how limited options can pigeonhole girls, but now it irks me. Gender neutral magazines could be successful if you find where interests overlap and present it in a non discriminating fashion. I see a new niche of magazines being created for those girls somewhere in between fashionista and tomboy. I'd like to be passionate about a magazine, but I haven't quite found the one for me. Maybe it has yet to be developed, or maybe I'll start it. Either way, I wish to see titles with more blending of the two extremes, beauty queen and tomboy. Ignorance was bliss, but now I've become bitter hoping for change. Fashion magazines will probably always annoy me, though I'd have less time to rant and critique if I had a decent magazine to occupy my brain.
My dad knows I'm a huge sports buff and saves all his Sports Illustrated for me. My pile is only at ten issues right now, two of which have hockey-related articles. I looked at each table of contents and found one article on the Colorado Avalanche and one on Russia's hockey team. This infuriates me. If you can't tell already, hockey is my favorite sport to play, follow, and watch. The lack of coverage is insulting.
The Colorado Avalanche team is newsworthy with new head coach and former goalie star Patrick Roy. First overall draft pick Nathan MacKinnon adds more youth to the already youthful team, joining Gabriel Landeskog, Jamie McGinn, Paul Stastny, and Matt Duchene. Of the 26 players listed on the roster, only seven are 30 or older. The oldest two are defenseman Jan Hejda, 35, and goaltender Jean-Sebastien Giguere, 36. In hockey years, that's not old. Not yet.
On paper it makes sense to focus on Colorado:
A new head coach, who happens to be a very famous former goalie
Overall young team
The top draft pick, a skilled dude who is younger than I
How could you not write about such a team? I think they will be cup contenders, even in the tough Western Conference. Which reminds me, there should be an article spotlighting the Western Conference teams. The 14 teams in the west include the stacked teams of San Jose, Los Angeles, Chicago, St. Louis, Anaheim, and Colorado. The other teams are close behind, like Dallas, Phoenix, and Minnesota. Come playoff time, the west is going to have the more competitive series. Sure, if you look at the standings in the east, you might think it's anybody's game. Wrong. The clear leaders of the divisions are Boston and Pittsburgh, with 93 and 92 points, respectively. The closest team has 80 points. Unless Boston and Pittsburgh choke, I see them playing in the Eastern Conference Finals. The Western Conference will most likely see series going the full seven games. I can't begin to speculate which two teams make conference finals in the west. It all comes down to who can stay healthy and focused, and, most importantly, goaltending. Your forwards can score plenty of goals, but you won't make it with a shoddy goalie, or shoddy defense.
I don't understand why SI published an article on the Russian hockey team. It's an American magazine. The story behind the team might be intriguing, but I'd prefer if they could balance that out with coverage on the American team. Where's that article? The American team is full of mostly lesser known players, clearly underdogs to team Canada's roster of NHL captains. Yeah, we have Patrick Kane and James van Riemsdyk, but that does not compare to Sidney Crosby, John Tavares, Patrice Bergeron, Martin St.Louis, Dustin Brown, Jonathan Toews, Corey Perry, and Shea Weber, to name a "few." Now I've rambled. Back to Russia! I enjoy reading about one of my favorite players, Evgeni Malkin, but he wasn't even the face of the article in SI. Russia's team was dubbed to belong to Alex Ovechkin, a poor decision. He hasn't impressed much as of late. I'd choose Pavel Datsyuk, the mayor of Danglestan, as John Buccigross has said. I still want more on our team. It's an underdog story. A decent transition from analyzing Russia's team to analyzing team USA would be to use the 1980 game, arguably the most important sporting event in our history. I don't think it's that hard to do. Maybe there's a rule as to how many hockey articles can be included, or maybe this one story reached some sort of quota. Clearly I'm getting heated and more bitter as I type. I'll close with Herb Brooks and the greatest sports speech ever for two reasons: Miracle is the best sports movie of all time, and I have some hockey games of my own. I could always use a Herb Brooks pep talk.
