Chris Jones gave me an anxiety attack

Chris Jones and I would be great friends. I've come to this conclusion after hearing him speak for only an hour. The foundation of our fictional friendship is a shared appreciation of fries smothered in cheese and gravy, better known as Canada's greatest gift to the world, besides hockey. My favorite quote is not at all related to magazines, but food. "Poutine is like a warm bed inside of your body," Jones said. I nearly stood and clapped for this gem. I mean, he's not wrong. Poutine tastes like a hug, or a warm bed, feels.

Oh, goodness I'm drooling all over my laptop. The key to my heart is clearly cheese curds and gravy. Hey, Chris, let's be best friends and gorge ourselves on poutine.

You'll find sense of humor below poutine on my list of reasons to be best friends with Chris Jones. After making several jokes, Chris added that he makes jokes because he's uncomfortable and to hide his pain. This is also a joke, but I can relate. I'm awkward. Having serious conversations makes me uncomfortable, so I use humor to deflect the tension. Actually, most situations cause me to feel awkward and uncomfortable, leading to me never closing my mouth. Strings of meaningless words spew out, often some poor jokes, when I revert to humor. If I don't know how to respond, my instinct is to make a joke, hoping it'll change the subject. It's probably unhealthy, but they do say laughter is the best medicine.

Somewhere in the middle, Chris Jones planted the seeds for my anxiety attack. I sat in my car afterwards, taking note of everything running through my mind. It occurred to me I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Sure, I've chosen a focused major and already have an idea of a future career, but the little confidence I had in that plan disappeared. Way to go, Mr. Jones. It's actually not entirely his fault. Chris Jones made some good points about what it takes to be a journalist. I'm the one over thinking it. Less than half of what he said caused me to freak out.

Lack of self confidence is by far my biggest issue. Jones stated that if you don't care or have the drive to succeed, switch careers. I know on some level I care and feel motivated, but is it enough? I have doubts about my abilities. I don't think I'll be competitive when looking for a job. I'm probably not good enough. Motivation is not my strong suit. I care, but to what extent? All these negative thoughts spin around and around in my head. Feeling drained of all energy and optimism, I rested my head on my steering wheel. Maybe I should switch majors. Again. There's no way I'm going back to science and nothing else seems to interest me. Journalism is the only way I'll have a chance at my dream job, analyzing hockey for Sportscenter or working for any NHL team. For now I plan on sticking with my current plan and maybe the motivation I lack will find me one day as I chase down my dream.

I hope my other skills will carry me through to the end. Chris pointed out that as a journalist, you must look around and have questions. How else can you report if you don't ask questions? Luckily for me, I'm constantly wondering about the world and the things in it. I've briefly researched multiple athletes and sports teams on several occasions, curious about their history. On top of that, I try to be the best listener. Not enough people stop to listen to what others have to say. Often people just need to get things off their chest and hearing them out is the best moral support. I know how frustrating it is to be interrupted or ignored when all I need is to share what I'm thinking. The least I can do is lend an ear when others won't. Listening helps build relationships and improve my own listening skills. Both will be useful in the long run. In a noisy world, the few quiet ones listening will prevail, which is why I take Chris' words on listening to heart. I may not be the most competitive in my skill set, but I can ensure I listen better than anybody else.

"Be the one who listens." - Chris Jones